Listen Up ~ Listen Out

Alright bobble head time to get serious. As you may have noticed, this weekend is Listen Out Brisbane and Sydney. You might think to yourself, Kritty pls, I am a festival veteran and your advice is not warranted I am going to be fine without it. *huge pause*

HOW COULD YOU BE SO WRONG?!¿!

In my experience as an adamant festival stare-bear, I have seen my fair share of lost souls. One too many one might say. It is because of this that I will be laying down the law with you right now and giving you some hot tips on how to survive Listen Out and still have enough juice in the tank/dignity for wicked kick-ons.

Hot tip #1 - No Totes

Tote bags are a cool thing right now but think about the inconvenience this will be. A short walk to Coles already has you pulling the strap back on your shoulder every 18 steps. There is no way you will reach your full potential and be able to let your freak flag fly with a canvas sack hanging off your left arm. Leave it at home.

Hot tip #2 - Stretch your dumb legs

You know damn well this is the most exercise you will have done since you cancelled your gym membership on January 14. I don't need to see people sitting down during RÜFÜS and pretending it's because they want to chill and ~take it all in~. I can see your legs cramping from a mile away.

Hot tip #3- Don't pat the sniffer dogs and/or police horses

I know, city living usually means fellow animal lovers cannot house a family of puppies and we both know a fish will not suffice. This is not the time to fill your love tank will animal contact. The boys and girls in blue do not like this.  Admire from a distance.

Hot Tip #4 - Pee as soon as you feel it coming on

Mind over matter is not the strategy to go with in this situation and I don't need to see people relieving themselves on trees. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. I don't care how good it is for you pelvic floor muscles, the minute you feel like it's time to release those 6 Smirnoff cans from your body. YOU GO AND YOU LINE UP. 1hr and 20 mins is a long time to be practicing your kegels while trying to pretend like your having the best time ever during Travis Scott.

Hot Tip #5 - No Fake Fans

Don't pretend to know the words to a song if you don't. This is just some general life advice. I promise you, you will look far less stupid if you just smile and dance to the song in question. Your indiscernible open-mouthed improvisations aren't fooling anyone. When A$AP says "one gold tooth" and your lips are curled in for a "B" sound, you've been sprung.


No deposit no repayments, that is my advice free to you. Take it or leave it, cya there sniffles.