School's Out Scream 'N' Shout

Alright you minimum wage juvenile it's your big day!

Can you believe it? Remember that time in year 7 when you were a mere toothpick watching what looked like grown adults leave school for the final time. Now YOU are that adult! Although you will come to realise you all still kind of look like little toothpicks.

Where is kick on's this year? Who's hosting the post-run-out party? Is it Steph with the big backyard? Jack with the huge pool? I hope someone has stepped up to hold this crucial, milestone event. Also, while you're sinking Smirnoff Double Blacks and Little Fat Lamb don't forget to tell your parents to record the news because images of you disrespecting your uniform and screaming "Schoolies" will be plastered all over the local channels. Or if you're like my graduating class of '13 you might even end up on The Project - in which case you've already made it, decline your uni offers.

I am so happy for you and this is just the beginning of a wild 2 weeks. You've still got graduation, the grad after-party and of course the parental anxiety attack enduring, SKEWLIEZZ. Now you are probably going to have to endure some god-awful music at these after-parties and schoolies events so I've decided to help you out.

I have pulled together an extensive list of new and old tracks you can play to get your endorphins going. So snatch that AUX chord before you have to sit through yet another Chainsmokers song. Remember to look out for your friends, wait 30 mins after eating before you swim, wash your hands before you eat and make good choices - especially when it comes to what song will be your schoolies soundtrack.

Love from your elder xxxx

Cool Record Labels for the Club

Hey baby, hey baby, hey (hey baby,baby)

Damn I wish I could write out all the lyrics to that No Doubt song and be done with it but the truth is, I take this blog a little bit seriously sometimes. So instead i'm gonna proceed with what I originally had planned and I'm going to make a lil listicle of some cool record labels you should 10/10 be following.

I struggled to keep this like below 10 so you get 12. Also instead of giving you reasons why these labels are worth a follow, i'm just gonna link you with a little info and you can figure it out for yourself.

Thankyou & goodnight xx

Mixpak - Brooklyn - Dancehall / Undergroud Club


NLV Records - Sydney - Forward-thinking Club


Activia Benz - London -  Quirky Club

 Club Aerobics - Los Angeles - Energetic club / Happy Hardstyle


Sidechains - Sydney - Progressive Club 



Her Records - South London - Progressive Club



Trekkie Trax - Tokyo - Japanese Trap



Enchufada - Lisbon - Tropical Club



One Eight Hundred - Los Angeles - Forward-thinking Club



Main Course - CA/USA/UK - House / Club



GHE20G0TH1K - NYC - Techno / Progressive Club



Ultramajic - Berlin/ LA - House / Club 

Spread The Word

Hi Peanut!

Do you smell beer, body odor and a touch of amyl? Well that can only mean one thing, the weekend is near and there is probably a 24 year old man behind you. My advice? Form a tight, penguin huddle formation with your friends as to close any gaps that would allow him to shimmy his way in and scream "HOW YA GOING?" in your ear.

Now that your hearing has been spared, lets put it to use! Contrary to popular belief I still think Soundcloud is the best place to find cool club music so i've gone a grabbed 8 of my recent favs to show you.

Spicy stuff from BASSBEAR, Swick, Tony Quattro and more, I can't wait to play all of these out and watch u collectively bop along. As you might have gathered from the title of this post, I'd really appreciate it if you could spread the word of these cool songs far and wide.

I want to hear this stuff when I go out, people. I can only do so much. It's time for you to carry this flaming torch and pass it on to the next person, then the next until Cathy Freeman gets hold of it and lights a giant fire pit that glows over the whole city as the world watches. (Best metaphor ever) (10 points to me for finally finding a way to reference Cathy).

I might quit while i'm ahead there and leave you to it. Bye love you. xx

20 Alternatives to the Australian Anthem

Hello gumnut bb's.

Would someone give the Australian anthem a cup of milo because it needs to go and go and go!
In light of recent hot topics i.e the footy grand finals this weekend/ our divisive, slightly racist and boring Australian anthem, I thought i'd provide some alternatives for our National song. I think I've done a pretty bloody bang up job champion, what do ya reckon?

Get together with your little vegemites, your wheatbix kids and have a go at these cracking classics. These singles are all anthems in their own right already so to adopt them as the country's theme song would hardly be a stretch.

The hardest thing about this was deciding which Kylie Minogue hit I would include. After re-watching her Sydney Olympics performance for inspiration, it became clear that Celebration was the one that would best capture the spirit of Australia.

I would also like to take this opportunity to point out that Nikki Webster's - Under Southern Skies is so appropriate and probably a front runner for the new anthem BUT IT IS NOT ON SPOTIFY!! Outrageous!


Moving down the playlist we have Sneaky Sound System, Midnight Oil, Vanessa Amorosi, Christine Anu and it goes on. Can you even tell me who wrote the current anthem? I didn't think so. I don't even need to ask about the 2nd verse because part of being an Aussie is NOT knowing the full anthem.

I hope this playlist of deserving Australian anthems inspires us all to seriously consider making the change. If not, at least you have a ripper of a new playlist for your next BBQ.

Love from your little Aeroplane Jelly.

Listen Up ~ Listen Out

Alright bobble head time to get serious. As you may have noticed, this weekend is Listen Out Brisbane and Sydney. You might think to yourself, Kritty pls, I am a festival veteran and your advice is not warranted I am going to be fine without it. *huge pause*

HOW COULD YOU BE SO WRONG?!¿!

In my experience as an adamant festival stare-bear, I have seen my fair share of lost souls. One too many one might say. It is because of this that I will be laying down the law with you right now and giving you some hot tips on how to survive Listen Out and still have enough juice in the tank/dignity for wicked kick-ons.

Hot tip #1 - No Totes

Tote bags are a cool thing right now but think about the inconvenience this will be. A short walk to Coles already has you pulling the strap back on your shoulder every 18 steps. There is no way you will reach your full potential and be able to let your freak flag fly with a canvas sack hanging off your left arm. Leave it at home.

Hot tip #2 - Stretch your dumb legs

You know damn well this is the most exercise you will have done since you cancelled your gym membership on January 14. I don't need to see people sitting down during RÜFÜS and pretending it's because they want to chill and ~take it all in~. I can see your legs cramping from a mile away.

Hot tip #3- Don't pat the sniffer dogs and/or police horses

I know, city living usually means fellow animal lovers cannot house a family of puppies and we both know a fish will not suffice. This is not the time to fill your love tank will animal contact. The boys and girls in blue do not like this.  Admire from a distance.

Hot Tip #4 - Pee as soon as you feel it coming on

Mind over matter is not the strategy to go with in this situation and I don't need to see people relieving themselves on trees. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. I don't care how good it is for you pelvic floor muscles, the minute you feel like it's time to release those 6 Smirnoff cans from your body. YOU GO AND YOU LINE UP. 1hr and 20 mins is a long time to be practicing your kegels while trying to pretend like your having the best time ever during Travis Scott.

Hot Tip #5 - No Fake Fans

Don't pretend to know the words to a song if you don't. This is just some general life advice. I promise you, you will look far less stupid if you just smile and dance to the song in question. Your indiscernible open-mouthed improvisations aren't fooling anyone. When A$AP says "one gold tooth" and your lips are curled in for a "B" sound, you've been sprung.


No deposit no repayments, that is my advice free to you. Take it or leave it, cya there sniffles.

You Better Not Have Missed These ~ Albums

Ahoy there!

Well, well, well, what a cool year it has been for the album. I am happy to announce that I bought 6 albums this year with real money (rare). Last week's reunion special had me catching you up on cool tracks that you might have missed over the past few months so this week is record time.

Ooooh baby baby, you're not gonna believe your ears. Some of my favourite albums of all time came out this year and i'm still jumping for joy and playing them from start to finish on a regular basis.

Man oh man oh man here we go, without further adieu (ado?) the best albums of the year so far imho.

Nao - For All We Know

I'm listening to this right now! I have listened to this 18 track album from start to finish more times this year than I have been incorrectly been called Kirsty (TOO MANY TIMES).  Great news for me is Nao is coming to Laneway next year and great news for Nao is that if she forgets the words i've got her covered. Watch her take over the world.

Santigold - 99c 

Fun fact: the first post I ever wrote was about Santigold. I was listening to L.E.S Artistes and Disparate Youth on a constant loop one night and it inspired me to start this blog so yeah. Make a mental note of this in case it's a trivia question one day. 

99c is a perfect album and the concept and marketing of the whole thing is flawless. Santigold is a visionary and in my top 2 artists of all time.

Rihanna - Anti

I really hope this isn't the first you are hearing of this. If you are like Sandro and have been SLEEEPING, let this be your prompt to stop what you're doing right now and listen to this for your own good. Every song on Anti could be a single and that's all I need to say.

Kanye West - The Life Of Pablo

He mf did it again. Probably his best album ever. T.L.O.P should have done for Kanye what Never Say Never 3D did for Bieber. Convert the naysayers into Ye'sayers!

Next time you hear a hater flapping their lips, get them to shooshie up but sticking some of those weird new wireless earphones in their holes and playing any song from this LP. 

M.I.A. - AIM 

If you follow me on anything you might have noticed my subtle hints that I am obsessed with M.I.A.. When I heard she had a whole album on the way I could have OD'd on joy. 

There are so many good tracks on this album, Finally, Borders, Visa, Swords, Go Off etc etc etc. Now is also a good time to mention that the best song in the world is Paper Planes - make a mental note.

AlunaGeorge - I Remember

My favourite thing about this album has nothing to do with how it sounds. What Aluna is singing about in some of these songs are SO empowering.

Mean What I Mean and I'm in Control are 2 of the songs of the year imho. (If someone could explain to me the dynamic of Aluna and George that would be great because I'm so confused, is George just camera shy?).

 

IMYSM

LTNS! (Did I just coin the 'long time, no see' abbreviation?)

I'm back baby and I come bearing gifts. Pretend that I am your friend in year 5 who goes overseas with their family and you miss her/him but you also know that you are gonna get some sweet souvenirs when they return!

I have outdone that friend in primary school because i've pulled through with gifts from Australia, the UK, the U.S and even a spicy number from the Dominican Republic because i'm an exotic traveller.

Long story short, we have some catching up to do. Before I dive back in to sharing my fav new tracks of the week, let me fill you in on what you might have missed over the past couple of months.

We got new Club Aerobics, NLV Records, DBM and the best news of all, NEW M.I.A. - but also, potentially the last M.I.A. :'(

pls enjoy.